Hear me moan,
Everybody should know that I have zero interest in Fallout 4. Nothing about Fallout 4 has averted my attention. The world looks bleak, bleaker than Mad Max: Fury Road. The textures are shit. I don’t know who the characters are, what the story is, or why I should bother to pick it up before playing Fallout 1, 2, 3 or Las Vegas. I’ve been assured that it’s an amazing game and that Fallout 4 will blow your socks off if you haven’t played Fallout 3 but here-in-lies my problem – everything about Fallout 4 feels like an in-joke directly aimed at its target audience, and the target audience isn’t me.
I’ve been extremely negative towards Fallout 4 but since its release it has dawned on me that Fallout 4 isn’t the problem – it’s Bethesda, pre-orders and you!
The Glitches
Bethesda have a reputation for rolling out games rife with glitches. For reasons I find unfathomable, glitches are considered to be part of the charm in the same way Metal Gear Solid’s convoluted plot is revered, even though it’s a bigger mess than all six seasons of Lost.
Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 was condemned for being a broken game and I don’t think it’s fair that Bethesda are held under a different microscope. People are willing to give Bethesda all the time in the world to fix their bugs whereas Activision (who, by the way, aren’t even the developers) are spat at for ruining the THPS series.
Bethesda shouldn’t be proud of their glitches. They’re not stylised choices purposely made for the game; they’re unintended mistakes. I think three things are responsible: over-ambitious ideas, a faulty game engine and incompetent quality assurance.
Brian Altano Fallout 4
The Bullshit Merchandise
It’s no secret that even if you’re not a pirate you’ll still love loot. That’s why people will break an arm and a leg over a pre-order. Who in their right mind can refuse paraphernalia that’ll accumulate dust beside their console?
Fallout 4’s pre-order incentives were a Vault Boy bobblehead or a Pip-Boy. The Pip-Boy has no monetary worth because it’s made out of the cheapest plastic imaginable. It has dials that don’t do anything and LEDs that make it look like a novelty Christmas sweater – it’s a glorified phone cradle.
Fallout 4 Pip-Boy
GAME were unable to distribute their Pip-Boy Edition copies of Fallout 4 to all of their customers who had pre-ordered due to payment complications with PayPal and the banks. It’s an unfortunate situation to be in and I feel sorry for GAME. The refusal of funds should have been identified much earlier on but that still wouldn’t guarantee your game would arrive on day one – even Amazon failed to deliver on time so cut GAME a little slack.
Maybe pre-orders need to be redefined. Maybe we shouldn’t expect the game to arrive early or even on time. Retailers should still let you order the game pre-release but they shouldn’t be obligated to guarantee a Day One arrival, especially when you consider all of the mini-fridges and action figures they have to send out with it.
I’ve been burned before. I pre-ordered Dead Space 2 which took a month to arrive. That was the last pre-order I ever made. Now I grab my games off a shelf – I also don’t have bullshit merchandise clogging up my lounge.
The Players
Did you pre-order Fallout 4? Do you defend Bethesda when someone criticises the glitches? Then you’re part of the problem. By standing up for Bethesda you’re condoning their ineptitude. By pre-ordering their games you’re letting them know you’ll pick up any old crap as long as it’s got a Fallout sticker on it.
Fallout Beer Carlsberg
How many of you actually intend on using the Pip-Boy?
And how many of you are going to sit on your hands and wait for the modding community to fix all of Bethesda’s mistakes?
And lastly, how many of you would do the same for Naughty Dog, Ubisoft or EA?
Gordon Ramsay Bethesda Meme
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