Disney has announced that its Mary Poppins sequel will open just in time for Jesus’ birthday, Dec. 25, 2018. That is a ridiculous five decades after the 1964 film first saw release.

In those days actors couldn’t afford a wash
The studio has revealed the movie’s title as Mary Poppins Returns. The movie will see the caped crusader take on the deadly Penguin in a battle to save Gotham… No wait that’s Batman returns.

Not the poster for the Mary Poppins sequel
Emily Blunt will play the all singing, all magical nanny opposite Lin-Manuel Miranda, star and creator of the Broadway hit musical Hamilton.

Emily Blunt ?
Director Rob Marcel said:
“I am truly humbled and honored to be asked by Disney to bring P.L. Travers’ further adventures to the screen, The iconic original film means so much to me personally, and I look forward to creating an original movie musical that can bring Mary Poppins, and her message that childlike wonder can be found in even the most challenging of times, to a whole new generation.”
The story will be set in Depression-era London and will see the now grown-up Jane and Michael Banks (the kids from the first one) visited by their former nanny following a tragedy in the family.
Why am I reporting this? Well it’s a slow news day and I know our target audience really well. For more on beloved Disney musicals stick with Out of lives. We’ll try not to be too sarcastic about it.